The Lost and Found
Moments ago I was pondering a few things. You see, right now I am at a computer, pushing buttons. Words become sentences and paragraphs. An hour ago, I was at work. Helping old people put 32 inch tvs into their Ford Festivas. This is how I make a living. TVs into Festivas. Pretty glamerous.
But I really don't want "glamerous." It's not my goal to go out there and make my life some amazing explosion of glory everyday. But there exhists in me some amount of anguish expelling onto the floor. My self description on this blog speaks to this situation. This is a season of preperation, my friends.
I always seem to have a great idea as to what it is I am being prepared for. Its kinda like we , or I , have been given a Mad Lib book from God:
" Jason, this is Jesus. I just wanted to let you know that the reason you work in a warehouse with a bad knee and a history of hernias is that I am preparing you to travel to ( the most amazing place ever) and once you are there I will bless you."
Fall of 2004 I moved from Des Moines, Iowa to Dallas, Texas. I made the trip south because a friend of mine needed a room mate, and there were high prospects of the both of us eventually moving to Austin, and attending film school. The move was a smart choice because I already had a few friends there, and the rent was super cheap. But to be honest, what really drew me to Dallas was not the film school, not the rent, and not my friend who needed a room mate ( although I really love this guy). The real draw was the adventure. I was lacking adventure.
I have been to a lot of places in my short time on this mortal coil. Some places have been beautiful and some not so great, but with each adventure my addiction grown. Superbowl sunday, about four or five years ago, some of my closest friends asked me to go California with them. It would'nt cost me anything, which worked out because I had around twenty bucks, and I did'nt have to drive. The only catch was that I had to drop out of school and leave with them that next friday. I said I would think about it. three days later I had quit my job, quit school, and explained to my parents and my band that I was leaving.
That trip was amazing. We lived on penut butter and bread for a total of two or three weeks, and were graciously fed by a family that we knew in Pasadena for the remainder of the trip. We vividly witnessed God provide us with food and shelter. We saw the cliffs over the ocean along highway one. We saw the sun rise over the desert in New Mexico. We played music at a bar in Flagstaff, Arizona in order to make enough money for a hotel room for the night (but only because the overnight temps were suposed to dip down below freezing that night). We did'nt shower for spans of weeks. We were free.
Those are the moments that I look forward to. The adventures.
sitting still was never enough. But should it be? I mean I know a few people in my life who have a family and a mortgage and are content. I have an oppertunity to engage in a well paying career, but it would require me to settle down for the next four years or so. I have never thought four years ahed ever.
I don't want to be that person who tells God what to do, so now, I am waiting. maybe thats the answer.
Labels: Comming Of Age
posted by Jason at 16:20
3 Comments:
The ultimate sign of contentment is simply either to be content with how boring things are, or with how much we anticipate what is to come.
I know that it is cliche, but just remember this-
If God were in the past then his name would be "I WAS"
If God were in the future then his name would be "I WILL BE"
But he says only to us now "I AM" for that is also only where we should seek to be.
I'm praying for you. We will have to postpone the beer. I'm too beat right now to even drink what's already in my fridge.
Thanks Chris. Yeah man. I agree. Thanks for reminding me. I love seeing Christ's arms and legs working for each other. I need to be reminded about simple things like "living for today" often. Thats how my mind works. maybe its a short attention span, Maybe its a short period of drug abuse, but it seems to me to be the fallen human condition.
I can't wait till we sit at God's feast, drink his wine, and listen to His words. At that table I think I will look over at you and smile and say " Its great to know as I am known."
Or I will say " Hey Chris, what if this is all a dream, and when we wake up, we will be waking up to the first day of our freshman year?"
if the call to follow Christ is in fact a call to follow Him (the person of Christ, and Him alone); to follow Him at the expense of our very lives, it is unfathomably easier to give up everything and follow Him when we have very little to give up (rich young ruler). If, in fact that is the call, then, it is beautiful that you don't have much tying you down, consider yourself blessed. it may also be worthy to note that the notion of getting financially secure and ahead in life is entirely counter-Christ (consider the lilies and birds). our culture and our lives inevitably have a way of holding us back from what we could and, dare I say, should be doing to follow Him (hate your mom).
relationships are the one advantage of being a non-transient (eve: not necessarily romantic relationships, but on a philosophical level. it was not good for us to be alone). and that is a big advantage. the longer I walk the earth, the more I see the value in relationships. it’s as if relationships were the vessel in which God makes Himself visible in this broken world (the word became flesh). our ability to make ourselves known, to be vulnerable, to encourage and strengthen one another on a spiritual, emotional, and physical level is pure beauty. i find God in my relationships, it’s as if it was the way He intended it when He created. we were designed for relationships. it is hard to build into relationships when we are wanderers.
paradox.
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